What Her Orgasm is Like
Guys, let me ask you something. Suppose I told you to take a pencil and place it between your baby toe and the one next to it on your non-dominate foot (as if you were going to write with it), and then I told you to squeeze the pencil repeatedly, and at longer and longer intervals hold the flex tight. Now imagine that I promised you that just at the last moment when you think that you can’t squeeze the pencil anymore that you would experience an orgasm totally different from, and perhaps far better than the ones you have accustomed yourselves to over the years. How easy do you think it would be to achieve this orgasm? How much focus would you have to put into your two smallest, weakest toes in order to attain this promised pleasure? Do you think that you would be easily distracted from flexing and releasing these muscles? How often would you be persuaded into trying this trick?
Let me put it another way. Imagine for a moment that going to the gym and pumping iron could produce an orgasm for you guys. Suppose, that if you lay down on the bench and start bench pressing a really heavy amount of weight over and over again, eventually, when you are just about to the point of exhaustion, and it takes many agonizing seconds to fully extend that weight one final time, all of a sudden, something miraculous happens: your arms feel amazingly powerful and you are startled to discover that they are now pressing the weight up and down of their own accord, with incredible ease. As a matter of fact, the flexing is now involuntary. Not only this, but the feeling in your arms as they flex up and down is the most incredible and pleasurable feeling you’ve ever known.
Ok, so now you’ve experienced this once, and of course, you will want to repeat it. However, the next time you go to the gym you are with your girlfriend or wife. This time you want to share the experience with her, but she wants to talk to you while you pump iron. You are there to work out, with the goal of having this awesome feeling again, with her in your presence. But she keeps distracting you with stories about her work, keeps pointing out the fact that your stomach is flabby, and tickles you occasionally and asks why your aren't laughing. She doesn’t understand that in order for you to have this wonderful experience, you have to focus all your attention and push yourself to the limit. To make things even more difficult, she has been getting on your nerves all day, doing some little thing that reminds you of someone that you’d rather forget.
The ideal weightlifting partner would be someone who is there to encourage you, talking you through the most grueling part of the workout with words that help you maintain your concentration and remind you of your goal. They would also be someone whom you trust and whose presence lifts your mood so that you can maintain your positive attitude about achieving your goal. Your girlfriend is doing exactly the opposite.
What I’m trying to make clear here is the incredible feat that is achieved each time a woman has an orgasm. I can think of no better explanation for the concentration level it takes to attain an orgasm as a female than weightlifting. While foreplay between a man and a woman serve as the ‘promise’ of an awesome finale, most all women know that it is a matter of sheer physical discipline and endurance, much like weightlifting for a guy, to reach it. Some very small muscles do an extraordinary amount of work.
It is not a mere matter of tickling a sensitive area of a woman’s body to cause her to orgasm. This tickling stimulates her to contract the muscles of her vagina . Each time she contracts these muscles can be equated to one rep on the bench press in my analogy. The more times she contracts these muscles and the longer she holds them tight, the more stimulus she provides to the sensitive pelvic floor and g-spot. However, the more she contracts these muscles the more exhausted they become and the more difficult it is to do another “rep.” Eventually, if she provides enough stimulus to these sensitive areas, as well as the clitoris, the miraculous happens and these muscles begin to contract all on there own, causing a rush of pleasurable sensations and release which is what we call an orgasm. But, just as a guy at the gym needs a weightlifting partner whom he trusts, who helps maintain his morale and who encourages him through the difficult task of focusing all his attention on reaching his goal through a very challenging workout, a woman needs a sexual partner who can do the same for her.
Add to this one other factor, that women tend to be compulsive multi-taskers. Women are hardly ever doing just one thing. It may look this way, but this is only because we make multi-tasking look so natural. However, being able to multi-task makes focusing on these muscle contractions during sex longe enough to achieve and orgasm exceptionally challenging. As much as a good weightlifting partner benefits you guys in the weight room, it is much more essential that a woman has a sexual partner who understands the challenge it is for her to maintain her focus on the goal, and takes the time to learn what he can do to help her stay focused. If you are a creative writer you might know that the more senses you appeal to in your writing, the more real your stories become for the reader. This concept can be applied in the bedroom as well. The more of your partner’s senses you can stimulate with the reality of what you are doing, the more focused and real it will be for her, and the less her mind will tend to wander to other things.
But the responsibility of helping a woman focus is not limited to the bedroom, because, like it or not, everything that happens outside the bedroom follows you in there when it’s time to play. Everything! However much she loves you and wants to share this intimate act with you, what it boils down to when achieving her orgasm is sheer willpower to keep flexing these muscles and focusing her attention on the exciting sights, smells, sounds and feelings involved in sexual intercourse. If there are unresolved issues that follow you into the bedroom, or the day was particularly exhausting for her, these things are definitely going to keep popping up in her head and make it more difficult for her to even desire to try to "workout" her vaginal muscles.
To recap, the most important things to remember in helping a woman achieve an orgasm are clearing up unresolved issues before entering the bedroom, developing an appreciation for the amount of strength and focus it takes a woman to reach orgasm, understanding your woman’s need to focus on physically mastering control over the vaginal muscles, providing her with sensual stimulation in as many different ways to make her feel the reality of your love, caring and desire for her, and providing her with encouragement when her confidence wavers and as her muscles begin to tire out.
