The Writer's Block

After all I wrote in Part One, I had the sense that it was incomplete. It’s too bad I haven’t had any females comment yet on that posting, to remind me that there are those times, though sometimes far less frequent than both genders would hope, when a woman’s orgasm is not only effortless, but seems to originate from a place where we don’t have to try at all. I suppose this place is called Reckless Abandon, and you will often see women capable of visiting that place in the beginnings of a relationship or at the point in an old one where they realize that life is not all about taking care of others before themselves. Or maybe it occurs when we have a moment where we feel completely safe to “let go” of all the extraneous stuff, and can’t help focusing on the sensations of our bodies.

My guess is that many will be gluing their eyes here to see if I have some magic formula as to how to make that happen. And I have to tell you that I have been wracking my brain all day trying to come up with the answer for you. Seriously. I personally don’t like either gender being in the dark about how to help the other attain a fulfilling sexual relationship. And frankly, I do not have a degree in Sexual Psychology; my major is English. What I have been writing here has been purely from my own experiences and life education. All comments and suggestions are welcome.

So, my answer to the burning question of how you get to the point where it is possible for your woman to attain an orgasm effortlessly is this: bring her to the point in your relationship where she feels completely safe to ask for and receive everything that she knows in her heart she deserves. Because if she feels she can do that, then she will be more likely to come to the bedroom fulfilled and clear of mind, as well as tuned into her needs and desires.

But, now, how does a man bring her to this point of feeling safe to ask and receive her heart’s desires? After all, guys just go out and get what they want. No one has to make them feel safe to do that. With women, it is quite a different thing. We are raised to be caretakers and taught to put others before ourselves. We really do benefit from, although, ladies, we should never deceive ourselves into believing that it is required to have, verbal and corporeal permission to have our needs put first instead of last. This may be a process, not a one-shot deal, where a man, through repeated acts of love, encourages, provides for and shows pleasure and approval in his woman getting exactly what she needs outside as well as inside the bedroom.

When a woman comes to the bedroom fulfilled and tuned in to her desires, she will be more likely to pick up the less obvious sensations of sexual pleasure that are offered her: the tingly feeling she gets when you whisper in her ear, the pleasant pressure that is placed on her uterus as you lay your head or abdomen against her navel, the discovery that one imminent climax spurs the other’s more feverishly, and most certainly she will be more likely to hear and accept the tender expressions of love and desire that you speak to her there. And as she does this, her focus will be directed toward welcoming these sensations, anticipating each wave and letting go of all thoughts that would otherwise crowd out these sensations from her consciousness, with the result hopefully being that her climax will catch her quite suddenly and effortlessly.